Periodically I go out and google for people I've lost track of.
Before Google, I tried to track down my 6th grade teacher. Schools were slowly being put on the web, and I kept looking for the school I met her in. Couldn't find it. When I saw the note that all
the schools were up, I looked harder. The name had been changed. But I called the number and learned that she had died within the last year. The fellow (I think he was my band teacher) who answered, offered to put me in touch with her brother (and told me her first name, Florence, which I'd never known) but I declined. I was going to start sobbing any moment, and didn't know what I could say to the brother anyhow. For the next year or so I tried to put my feelings to paper, but couldn't say enough, and now I think it's been too long to try to contact him. And I still don't know what to say.
Anyhow, Waaaay back in High school I fell in love with a boy. It was really stupid -- he was a smoker, he took stupid risks. He was an inconsiderate jerk, he was such a bad loser that I started throwing our backgammon games (and "somehow" some tapes I lent him were partially taped over) and I don't know how far things would have gone with his brothers if the sink that one of them was pushing me up against hadn't broken, distracting him enough so I could make my escape. He had a bad rep -- he'd go to Rocky Horror, and each week he'd be with a different woman. (I lasted 2 weeks. Woo!) But I really liked his sister, and even with all the mind-games he (and others) played on me, I was pretty much hung up on him throughout my first year of college. Not that we ever contacted each other. He wasn't all bad -- he drove me to a rally in DC, and another in New York. (And while he did feel me up a bit, he didn't push for more, which was good, as I'd still not learned to say "no".) He wasn't all that good -- he deserted me at the rally in New York -- he'd found a woman there, and didn't re-appear -- and it got late and cold -- and as luck would have it there was one seat on a bus going back to my home town, and it cost exactly the amount I had left. And he never called to find out if I'd made it home okay.
Anyhow, when I google on him, I get a bunch of hits for some author. Who knows. Nothing to say it's him or someone else. Today I got creative and added his middle name.
And found his obit.
The age. The name of the father (I didn't remember the mothers' name), the name of the sister, (didn't remember the brothers' names), the city he'd lived in ... Hell.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
... A memorial service for XXX, 46, of YYY, will be here at 1 p.m.
Mr. XXX, who died Sunday...