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Found someone I've been half-hunting for... 
16th-Oct-2006 03:16 pm
Periodically I go out and google for people I've lost track of.

Before Google, I tried to track down my 6th grade teacher. Schools were slowly being put on the web, and I kept looking for the school I met her in. Couldn't find it. When I saw the note that all the schools were up, I looked harder. The name had been changed. But I called the number and learned that she had died within the last year. The fellow (I think he was my band teacher) who answered, offered to put me in touch with her brother (and told me her first name, Florence, which I'd never known) but I declined. I was going to start sobbing any moment, and didn't know what I could say to the brother anyhow. For the next year or so I tried to put my feelings to paper, but couldn't say enough, and now I think it's been too long to try to contact him. And I still don't know what to say.

Anyhow, Waaaay back in High school I fell in love with a boy. It was really stupid -- he was a smoker, he took stupid risks. He was an inconsiderate jerk, he was such a bad loser that I started throwing our backgammon games (and "somehow" some tapes I lent him were partially taped over) and I don't know how far things would have gone with his brothers if the sink that one of them was pushing me up against hadn't broken, distracting him enough so I could make my escape. He had a bad rep -- he'd go to Rocky Horror, and each week he'd be with a different woman. (I lasted 2 weeks. Woo!) But I really liked his sister, and even with all the mind-games he (and others) played on me, I was pretty much hung up on him throughout my first year of college. Not that we ever contacted each other. He wasn't all bad -- he drove me to a rally in DC, and another in New York. (And while he did feel me up a bit, he didn't push for more, which was good, as I'd still not learned to say "no".) He wasn't all that good -- he deserted me at the rally in New York -- he'd found a woman there, and didn't re-appear -- and it got late and cold -- and as luck would have it there was one seat on a bus going back to my home town, and it cost exactly the amount I had left. And he never called to find out if I'd made it home okay.

Anyhow, when I google on him, I get a bunch of hits for some author. Who knows. Nothing to say it's him or someone else. Today I got creative and added his middle name.

And found his obit.

The age. The name of the father (I didn't remember the mothers' name), the name of the sister, (didn't remember the brothers' names), the city he'd lived in ... Hell.

Thursday, June 15, 2006
... A memorial service for XXX, 46, of YYY, will be here at 1 p.m.
Mr. XXX, who died Sunday...
16th-Oct-2006 07:53 pm (UTC)
I'm tempted to say that karma finally caught up with him -- but without knowing anything about his life since you last saw him, there's no way of guessing whether or not that's accurate. At any rate, I'm sure it's a jolt. My sympathies.
16th-Oct-2006 08:04 pm (UTC) - Thanks.
Last I'd heard (>20 years ago) he'd married a woman several (10?) years his senior, and straightened up his act. The obit said he had kids (but I don't know if they were his blood or ones he adopted that started out as hers -- don't know if the wife mentioned is the same one I'd heard of).

Yeah, it is a bit of a jolt. Figure I need to go and get a card to send to his folks. They were always nice to me. They fed me.

Heh. I seem to mostly find guys with great sisters!
16th-Oct-2006 08:11 pm (UTC) - Wow, yeah
I can certainly see how this would be a jolting and powerful bit of information to receive. I have all sorts of people in my past where the feelings are very, very mixed, and no matter how I try to sort them out, they stay mixed. The woman I was pretty much stuck on my last year in high school (her name was Joyce, a talented actress and singer, who worked alongside me on the school paper) was definitely not bad news, although her parents didn't like me and I probably shouldn't marry a devout Mormon. Then there was Sandy, in college. Physically gorgeous (all right, one of my friends said she was built like a stick, but I thought she was gorgeous), an artist, a dancer, and a compulsive liar. I had real problems with the lying (even though several of my friends told her they didn't see a problem and felt I was overreacting) and, even after she said she loved me and I admitted I really still loved her, I knew the only sane thing I could do was to get the hell away. She's currently on her second husband and living somewhere near Munich, Germany, and (according to one mutual friend who tried to stay in touch) simply not answering mail or e-mail from old friends. This really may very well be just as well.

16th-Oct-2006 08:32 pm (UTC) - Re: Wow, yeah
Lying would give me problems too - I think you did the right thing there! (Not easy to do the "right" (or smart) thing when it's not what you want to do.)

Heh... I'm going to be in Germany, not too far from Munich, in a month and a half.
16th-Oct-2006 08:25 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's stunning. And I know, because I've had a couple of things like that in the past several months, and I've been stunned. Hugs and a friendly shoulder are hereby offered.
16th-Oct-2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks, dear.
16th-Oct-2006 08:32 pm (UTC)
oh, my.

Ok, Captain, we now have definitive proof that the stun setting works.

*hugs*, and LOTS of empathy.
16th-Oct-2006 08:34 pm (UTC) - Thanks.
I appreciate alla that.
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